Pity – party of one…

My golden pregnancy is mostly good. It’s exhausting, but not physically more difficult yet. However, for the past week, I’ve had a headache. I thought dehydration… added more H20. I thought not enough coffee… added a cup to my one cup a day. (Don’t judge – I know how many milligrams of caffeine are in it. It’s absolutely worth it.) I had no more thoughts. Then, I fell asleep.

I woke up Monday with a sore throat. Ouch. Still hurt when I got home. Like any good daughter of an ICU nurse, I checked the back of my throat in the mirror with a flashlight shining on it… seriously? Patches of the plague. Probably not actually the plague, but seriously memorable white and green nastiness. Sigh.

I went to my fabulous OBGYN this morning. I told her my plight. Much like my ICU nurse mother would, Dr. Fabulous looked incredulous when I stated I had nasty slime in my throat, but no fever. Sigh. It hurts, or at least annoys, even if you people think I’m exaggerating. Off to gargle salt water.

So, I did what any good community college professor would do. I cancelled my classes, came home, and wrote about it on a blog read by 100-150 people, tops. I love you guys!

The best part of my visit with my fabulous OBGYN was hearing Cutie #3’s heartbeat. Cutie #3 has a gorgeous heartbeat, perhaps the nicest heartbeat of all three kids. Come to think of it, I believe all three heartbeats sounded surprisingly similar. Maternal Amnesia Strikes Again! Since this Cutie is undoubtedly my last Cutie, I will stand by my baseless claim, and enjoy the strength and rhythm that only a fetal heartbeat can provide, just two days shy of 12 weeks.

Today, for the first time, I had a blood draw for a non-invasive prenatal test  (NIPT).  I prided myself on my Catholic upbringing in past pregnancies, and my firmly held belief that we get the right kids, and I opted out of this optional test for Cuties 1 & 2. I continue to hold that belief deeply in my soul. We have the right kids. However, having won the genetic lottery once, and knowing the chances of my winning a lottery twice in one lifetime are slim to none, I would like to know at which hospital Cutie #3 might best be born at for immediate care, if that becomes necessary. The NIPT of choice at our clinic is MaterniT21. Our chance of having another Cutie with trisomy 21 are 1 in 99. We are not having 99 babies. I’ll let you know what happens. If Cutie #1, Golden Momma, and the Chinese Astrology Chart are correct, Cutie #3 will be a boy. None of these methods are scientific, to the best of my knowledge, but who knows.

For those unfamiliar to the world of prenatal screening, there is a blood draw – likely the largest blood draw I’ve ever had for any test ever. It’s sent away to a lab, and results return (in our case) two weeks later. We will learn gender and about the chance of genetic conditions for the first time. Magic!

This is not the same as a diagnosis, which still requires more invasive procedures. Diagnosis will not happen for us. We choose to have the babies who choose us, and for us, anything that increases risk of miscarriage is not an option. I respect everyone’s choice in this matter, and it’s not a judgement. It’s simply not as important to us to have certainty in our children’s future. We know very well that our children’s futures, as well as our own, are the furthest things from guaranteed or predetermined. We embrace the unknown, but are happy to be a little more prepared.

So, as I sit in my nearly silent house, with a headache trying to creep in, and a throat full of plague, throwing a pity party for one, I hope you are enjoying good health, happy times, and embracing your uncertainty. Chronic Confusion takes more energy than I realized.


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